


The Burden of Infatuation

by dindindin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Absent Grisha, Cheating, Dead Carla, M/M, One-Sided Eren Yeager/Mikasa Ackerman, Past Levi/Erwin Smith, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-03 04:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4086232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dindindin/pseuds/dindindin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eren sees Levi pass by on Tinder, he swipes right, not expecting anything. Levi is older, Mikasa's brother, and their English teacher. And, the most crucial part, Eren has Jean. So when the words "You have a match!" appear and Levi starts talking to him, he makes an important decision. He'll meet up with him once, tell him that there's no lingering attraction and that liking his appearance has nothing to do with anything, and have his "happily-ever-after" with Jean; that's the way it's supposed to go.</p><p>Life's never quite that simple. Eren is certain of his love for Jean -- but he can't deny being infatuated with Levi, either. Not when Levi broadens his world in a way Jean has never done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Burden

**Author's Note:**

> I love Jean and Eren together, but I can't deny that if Levi is around, they're bound to fall in love. No idea which way it'll go.

“Tinder, Eren, are you serious?” Armin sat down next to him, peering over his phone in an attempt to see who passed the revue. He nodded in appreciation when a short-haired blonde appeared. Eren wasn’t sure if that was because her face looked a bit like Annie’s, or because his friend simply liked blondes.

“Not my type,” he answered, and swiped her out of his way. “Yeah, I mean, I have Jean, and I’m happy with him, you know that, but, you know, this is kind of fun. In a purely aesthetic way. I’m not planning to cheat.”

Eren wasn’t exactly the best with words. The moment he had to explain how he felt, all he could do was stumble over his words and hope that whoever he was talking to could figure out what he wanted to say. It didn’t matter with Armin. He was intelligent, eloquent, and completely capable of understanding everything Eren said, no matter how convoluted it sounded.

“I know, I know. I’m teasing you.”

They sat in silence. Armin observed Eren’s habits. He hadn’t noticed before – and Eren had never mentioned anything of the sort either – but he seemed to have somewhat of a type. Girls were pretty much all rejected, unless they were slightly androgynous in looks. Almost (if not all) of the guys he swiped right were black-haired, had sharp cheekbones, and were muscled. Armin didn’t make the connection until someone they both knew appeared.

“Is that?” Armin asked, leaning over Eren’s shoulder to get a better look. The guy on the screen had only one picture – usually not a good sign – but it was a fully frontal photo, taken with a high-resolution camera. The guy had black hair with an undercut, slightly slanted eyes, a small, almost delicate nose, sharp cheekbones, and the white shirt he was wearing showed enough of his muscular definition without it seeming like he was bragging with it.

He wasn’t just handsome, he was someone they knew. A twenty-three-year-old named Levi. Mikasa’s older brother. Their English teacher. Eren’s very first crush, the one who made him realize he wasn’t straight. The guy Jean had been jealous of even before they got together.

Eren swiped right before he could even collect his thoughts properly. Next to him, he heard Armin suck in his breath. They both knew that this wasn’t strictly “having fun”, as Eren had said before.  
Both of them were stunned when the words “You have a match!” appeared.

“Shit,” Eren said. It was as if he was electrified. Even though he knew he could cancel the match (he had done so before plenty of times), he didn’t want to. That thought scared him more than knowing that Levi now knew he fancied him (because, face it, you don’t swipe right an acquaintance, no matter how hot, unless you wanted something more.)

“I love Jean,” he said. Next to him, Armin stiffened – not because he didn’t know if it was true, but because he knew it was.

“I won’t tell Mikasa.” Armin squeezed his shoulder, his hand lingering for a few seconds. The simple gesture calmed Eren down. He had no reason to freak out. Nothing had happened. Armin excused himself and went downstairs, but Eren was barely even listening.

\----------------------------------

 **Levi** : Well, well, I didn’t think you had it in you.

Eren stopped in the middle of his text (“Yeah, I’ll see you afte-“), pushed down his notification bar, and pressed the Tinder one. The conversation screen opened, a thumbnail of Levi’s profile picture appeared together with a small message, seemingly taunting him.

 **Eren** : You’re not the one to speak. You did so first.

Redirecting Levi’s message seemed to be the better choice than confessing to being attracted to him. Sure, it was out in the open since he swiped right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to put it in words. That would make the whole situation seem more real. Eren did not need reality to sink in now.

 **Levi** : Never said I didn’t, Eren.

Eren didn’t answer, opting to resume texting Jean instead.

 **To Jean** : Yeah, I’ll see you after my guitar class tomorrow. Same place?  
  
**To Eren** : Ofc. Is Armin still there?  
  
**To Jean** : He’s downstairs. Why?  
  
**To Eren** : I need help with math.  
  
**To Jean** : And you won’t ask me? I’m hurt.  
  
**To Eren** : Not if I actually want to pass this year. You’re not exactly a genius either, Jaeger.  
  
**To Jean** : Fuck you, too, Kirschstein. Ask him yourself.  
  
And with that, Eren threw his phone on his bed, staring as it bounced two times before landing at the very edge. Grinning at his luck, he headed out to go downstairs. Armin had been gone for long enough for him to have a conversation with both Levi – even if it only lasted three messages – and Jean, who was known for being so slow even his mother complained.  
  
“Aaaarmin!” Eren yelled, jumping down the last few stairs. His stairs led into dining room. From there, it was only a short way to the kitchen. That was the first place he expected his best friend to be.  
  
“Armin?”  
  
_This house isn’t that big. Where is he?_  
  
He sighed and went to the living room. There was nothing in there – there used to be a television, but since his mother died and his father had basically dropped off the face of the earth, he figured there was no reason for it to remain there. Together with Mikasa, he had lugged the thing upstairs and installed it in his bedroom. He didn’t really watch much TV, but it was there if he needed it, anyway.  
The living room was sparsely decorated. Since it had lost its purpose of being the family’s gathering spot in the evening, no one bothered to put up new things, and everything that reminded him of his mom was already in his own room. What remained were two leather couches, a small coffee table, and the television cabinet. The walls were blank, save for a nature painting. His parent’s wedding picture used to be framed on the wall, but he had torn it off after his mother’s death, angry at his dad, and angry at the world.  
  
He wouldn’t say he got along with Grisha now – the guy had never been an attentive father, and after his mother’s death it got even worse, but he could understand (although he’d never agree) why Grisha preferred holing up at work and wherever else he stayed than going home. The last time they talked, Eren had been so mad with rage he called Grisha every insult imaginable. That was, probably, another good reason why Grisha stayed away. In Eren’s eyes, the conflict was resolved. In Grisha’s eyes, Eren was still furious.  
  
_Doesn’t matter. Even if I apologized for the way I behaved, he still wouldn’t come back._  
  
Eren had realized early on that Grisha had only ever loved one person: Carla. Everything he was and everything he did eventually came back to her. They had Eren because Carla loved kids. He worked hard to make sure they all had everything they wanted – because it would make Carla happy. Eren was never the main purpose of anything Grisha did, he was merely an addition. Grisha had tried making Eren happy to make Carla happy. Now that Carla was gone, the glue holding them together had dissolved.  
  
No need to dwell on that. He had never lacked parental love: his mother had given him enough of that. He wasn’t unhappy with the way it was. Sure, once in a while he envied how well Mikasa got along with both of her parents, because he’d never feel that way again, but his friends made up for everything. Usually, he didn’t have the time to worry about all of this.  
More importantly, he needed to find Armin, not ponder about the living room’s lack of furniture.  
  
He saw his friend in the hallway, standing at the door. “Hey, Armin, there you are!”  
  
Armin turned around, showing who he was talking to. Mikasa waved from the doorway, said something to Armin, and headed inside.  
  
When she was close enough, she enveloped Eren in a tight hug. One of her hair products – he wasn’t very knowledgeable about girl products – prickled his nose, artificially sweet. He wrapped his arms around her.  
Armin was his best friend, but Mikasa was family. Both of them were extremely important to him, but it had been Mikasa who spend all her time with him when Carla had died, neglecting her swimming practice (“Eren, competitions don’t mean a thing to me if you won’t be sitting there, watching me win.”), putting in as few effort in school as she could manage without angering her parents too much, and even helping him do his work. If it wasn’t for her, he would have continued to spiral downwards, lost in anger and grieve, never doing anything useful – and he would have probably killed himself in the long run.  
  
They had met as kids. Mikasa in the present day was gorgeous, tall, and muscled; she was a force to be reckoned with, and no one in their right mind would think about bothering her. However, things hadn’t always been that way. Before, she had been a meek girl, her long hair obscuring her face because she kept glancing down, and shorter than Levi at that age.  
  
She was conscious about her Asian heritage because her mother had been. Back then, her mother had just moved to America, following Mikasa’s father there after their marriage. She had to adjust to everything: having a step-son, being in a foreign country, not knowing the language well enough, and raising a baby for the first time in her life, without any family or friends around her to talk to. Although she tried to keep her anxiety a secret, Mikasa soon picked up on it. Kids were perceptive like that. Those became her own feelings.  
  
Eren had no worries at all back then. His mother was the most amazing parent he could imagine, his father wasn’t always around, but he gave him everything he wanted, he was good at soccer (and, therefore, popular), and he was well-liked by both his peers as adults.  
  
One day he saw a group of three boys surrounding a small girl. He had a temper, so when he saw the girl crying, he decided to step in. She thanked him and he fell in love. He didn’t admit to it often, but Mikasa had been his first crush. That was, originally, the reason why he wanted to be friends with her, despite having such different personalities.  
  
They were irreplaceable to each other.  
  
“Armin told me something interesting.”  
  
His eyes were full of fright when he glanced at Armin. He mouthed, “traitor” and stepped backwards, not knowing what to expect.  
  
“I’m not mad, you dork,” she said. She twirled a strand of hair around her finger and glanced back at him. “I’m just, surprised. You never told me you were interested in Levi.”  
  
Mikasa and Levi had a complicated relationship, partially because they hadn’t grown up together. After two years – Levi had been ten – his mother decided it would be better for him to grow up with her, her new husband, and their twins. Mikasa’s father hadn’t denied the request; it was a difficult situation. He loved Levi, but his new wife wasn’t faring well, and his job wasn’t paying as much as he had hoped it would. Since she lived in France, visiting was difficult and happened on a “every couple months” basis.  
  
When Levi turned eighteen – four years ago – he decided that he wanted to get his degree in the US instead of France. Mikasa had never seen much of Levi. He never stayed long, and when he did, he mostly spend time with their dad. They never went to France themselves. She didn’t react well to his quips and irritable mood. He was polite enough to her mom (for which she was thankful), but he didn’t extend the same politesse to her when no one was around. He was foul-mouthed and glared at everyone and everything he saw.  
  
Their relationship got better with time. But then Eren’s mother died and Levi decided that commuting was too much of a hassle. During the weekends they talked sometimes, but most of their conversations were limited to everyday things like, “Dinner is almost ready” or “the bathroom is yours”.  
  
So when he found himself crushing on the other Ackerman as a teen, he never managed to open up to her about it. And now this happened.  
  
“I’m not. I mean…” Eren sighed, trying to think of the best way to phrase what he wanted to say. “I used to have a crush on him. Then I met Jean, and I love him. Levi’s our teacher, anyway, it was only a… lingering attraction, I guess. I didn’t expect him to have done the same. I mean, he’s always such a stickler about rules, why would he do something as rule-breaking as flirting with a student?”  
  
Mikasa nodded. “I see… He flirted with you?”  
  
“Not exactly, but I don’t think his intentions are that pure since he started a conversation. I was horrified when those words appeared, you know?”  
  
“Can I see?”  
  
Eren nodded and handed over his phone. There wasn’t a lot of embarrassing stuff on there, and he was fairly sure she wouldn’t try to do anything.  
  
“So, what are you going to do?”  
  
“Eat dinner and forget it ever happened. Maybe skip his classes for the rest of the year.”  
  
“Eren, I’m serious here.”  
  
“And I’m serious about Jean.”

* * *

 

When he woke up and picked up his phone to check the time, the flame icon in the left-hand corner of his screen filled him with dread.

 **Levi** : Let’s stop playing games. You like me, I like you. We can grab some coffee sometimes.

 **Eren** : I have a boyfriend.  
  
**Levi** : That didn’t stop you from swiping me right. It never stopped you from looking at me during class, either.  
  
**Eren** : That doesn’t mean anything.  
  
**Levi** : Sure. Then let’s grab a coffee as friends. We can see then and there if there’s truly nothing.  
  
**Eren** : There isn’t.  
  
**Levi:** After school, today. I know a place where no one from school ever comes.  
  
Eren wanted to say he already had made plans with Jean, but something compelled him from doing so. Like Levi was some elusive being, who would never invite him out again if he declined now. Why did he even want to go? He was never going to accept being anything with Levi.   
  
**Eren** : Okay. You pay.  
  
**Levi:** Come to my classroom after school. I’ll drive us. I don’t trust you not getting lost.  
  
**Eren** : Keep insulting me, and I won’t even come.  
  
**Levi** : After school. Don’t forget.

* * *

 

Eren didn’t look forward to cancelling his plans with Jean, but he knew he’d better to it face-to-face.  
“Jean…” He started. Next to him, his boyfriend hummed in acknowledgement, his arm around Eren’s waist. Normally, he wasn’t fond of too much PDA, but having Jean near him strengthened his resolve. He knew he needed it in a few hours.  
  


“I have to help,” think, Eren, think, “um, Annie. You know how she always wants a sparring partner.”  
  
It doesn’t feel right lying to Jean, but he couldn’t possibly tell him what was going on. No, there wasn’t anything going on. He was going there after school to tell Levi he had no interest in him, and to tell him to fuck off and find someone else. That was all. This was one small, white lie. None would follow.  
  
Jean winces. “Man, she’s going to slaughter you. I’ll stop by tonight?”  
  
“With food?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, with food. You’re such an ass.” Jean kisses the top of his head and lets go.  
  
Eren’s heart grows with fondness. There’s no denying he loves Jean. He adores everything about him, from his looks to his personality. They argue a lot, but they’ve never had an actual fight. They don’t spend every waking moment together, but they often do things with the two of them. When Jean had introduced Eren to his best friend, Marco, he had done so with so much adoration in his voice… Eren was sure he never wanted to leave Jean’s side.  
  
“Love you,” he says, taking the initiative to press his lips against Jean’s in farewell, before opening the door to his next class.

He doesn’t see it, but Jean’s smiling.


	2. Burdening Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kind words and kudos/bookmarks!

The drive is accompanied by silence. Eren's body is turned towards the window and away from Levi, who pays no mind to his behavior. There's not much to see. The streets are all alike, and aside from some people here and there, there's not too much life out there. School was barely out for five minutes -- and half past three was too early for people to come back from their work. When the car finally stopped, Eren was all but ready to jump out. He had had silent drives before. Sometimes he didn't feel like talking, and Mikasa, who was most often with him in the car, tended not to push him. It never felt as uncomfortable as it did now.

The tearoom was one Eren had never visited before. He wasn't much of a tea drinker to begin with, and when he did have tea, it was never in a specialized store. None of his friends would want to come there, either. No, they were more the type to sit on someone's couch drinking cheap beer and having a laugh. 

For the first time since he had stepped into Levi's office, he glanced at his teacher. The man looked as impressive as always. If someone had asked Eren to describe him in one word, it would be "sharp". He had sharp wit, a sharp sense of clothing, sharp cheekbones and a sharp look in his eyes. Not for the first time, Eren wondered how this situation had come to be. He was good-looking and social, but he was still a typical teenager in any other way. He wasn't as confident as Levi was. He slumped and spoke with his mouth full. He tended to throw together the most casual of outfits, not bothering to be fashionable. He liked boorish jokes (to the dismay of Mikasa). He drank to become drunk. He had only drunk wine a handful of times, and when he did, it was a bottle that barely cost a couple dollars.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he and Levi only had a few similarities. They both knew Mikasa, they were both interested in guys, and... Well, that seemed to be it. In fact, aside from the things he could assume from looking at him and watching him behave, Eren didn't know much about Levi. His crush had really been superficial.

Levi held open the door for exactly two seconds. When he noticed Eren wasn't paying attention and wasn't going to take over, he let it go and walked inside. Eren caught the door at the last moment, the weight of the door against his palm resulted in a sharp pain in his wrist. 

_This isn't going to go well, is it?_

"Levi!" A woman, presumably a tad older than him, greeted him with a large smile. She didn't wait for a response before delving under the counter. Eren couldn't guess what she was excited about. When she stood back up, her glasses perched on the tip of her nose, she threw two small bags of tea towards Levi. 

"Thanks, Hanji," he said, pocketing the packets. 

_This is almost like a drug deal of tea._

"Oh! Hello there, what's your name?" With her wild ponytail, the glasses, and her ecstatic way of handling things, she seemed more like a scientist than someone working in a teashop. 

"Eren," he answered, giving her a small smile. She seemed nice enough. 

"So, Levi, what kind of illegal things are you up to now, with this student of yours? Erwin's going to have a field day over this!"

"Erwin will keep his mouth shut. And you should too. Or do you think no one knows what you have gotten up to in the past?"

"Oh, jeez, Levi. I was kidding..." She turned towards Eren again, whispering loud enough for both of them to hear, "Is he always like this with you? I can introduce you to someone better if you want to. I just  _know_ that there's someone who'd love to gobble you up!"

"I'm not here with him like that."

"Yet." Eren wasn't sure who spoke first, but Hanji and Levi glanced at each other, and albeit faint, Levi was smiling. He frowned. It was better to imagine Levi as a cold, impassive bastard, who was friendly to no one. It was easier that way, too. 

* * *

 

His resolve seemed to melt away the longer he sat with Levi. The uncomfortable silence that had filled the car was no longer swirling around them. Instead, it was almost pleasant. Levi had asked him about Mikasa, and without thinking, he had started telling him about the way they were introduced. Levi nodded here and there without once breaking up the story. Meeting Hanji had been a great distraction -- Eren begrudgingly admitted to himself that Levi had planned everything in detail. He had probably known that Hanji could break the ice like no other. Otherwise, they would have been sitting there glaring at each other and drinking their tea in absolute silence.

"I'm glad she had someone like you around." 

Eren quirked a brow. "You knew me when I was younger. I was a brat."

"You still are. That doesn't mean you weren't a good influence on her. She needed an emotive person like you."

Eren decided to ignore the insult -- he had been trained in ignoring conflicts by being with Jean. There was no need for him to act up. That would only prove Levi's assumption, really... Then again, why would he care about Levi's opinion? Wasn't he there to tell him to fuck off?

... Or he would have, if Levi hadn't been as likable as he was. Rude, yes. Overly stiff, yes. Eren found himself not caring about any of those things. Levi had listened to his story without interrupting, he had seemed genuinely interested, and none of his comments had been flirtatious. It seemed like Levi avoided every pitfall Eren had hoped to latch on to. 

Jean, he reminded himself. _Don't let yourself get too carried away, Jaeger._

"How do you know Hanji?"  _She doesn't seem like the kind of person you hang out with_ was unsounded. Levi seemed to understand, anyway; he picked up his cup of tea, swirled the remaining liquid around, and brought the cup to his lips for a small sip. _  
_

"That's a long story... And weren't you trying to keep your distance from me?" 

Caught. Of course he would get caught. Levi was a smart guy and Eren's dislike had been on full display. He had been rude, he had avoided eye-contact, and it was only now that he had started to be more Eren, and less a wounded animal ready to pounce. Levi knew that he had lowered his defenses. 

"I was." And with that, the subject was finished. He had made himself clear enough, because Levi nodded slowly, pensive, before launching into a story of his own. Perhaps he wasn't sure what he could answer. Perhaps he didn't want to ruin everything building up between them by forcing Eren to acknowledge that his original thoughts were wrong. 

The first thing he said was that he wouldn't talk about everything he had gone through. The story he would tell would be an abridged version of the truth. If Eren wanted to stick around, he'd hear the full thing eventually. If not, it'd remain a secret. Eren wasn't a fan of conditions, but he could respect that Levi had secrets of his own. Although they had known _of_ each other for a long time, they didn't actually _know_ each other. It was more than fair for Levi not to tell the whole story if he didn't want to. Eren knew he wouldn't want to regurgitate the months after his mom died, either. He didn't even talk about it with Mikasa, and she had been there every step. 

"We were in the same class in elementary school, the year before I left for France. We met again a few years later through coincidence, kept in contact, and when I returned to America, I stayed with her for a few weeks. Life at home wasn't going well, neither had my search for a dorm... So I freeloaded with her."

"And, uh, who's Erwin?" The name felt unfamiliar on his tongue. Eren didn't want to make a fool out of himself by mispronouncing it (especially after he had heard the name being said by Hanji and Levi).   


"Erwin," there was a subtle emphasis on his name, a way to correct Eren without it coming out too harsh or insulting him, "is a German guy. He moved here when he was sixteen, after his mother remarried an American. The story, as he told me, is that his mother got pregnant as a teen and never married. Their name was called by a receptionist in a hotel they were staying at, and Erwin's step-father -- Smith -- thought they were calling him in a German accent, while they were actually calling Erwin's mother, whose last name is Schmidt. They bonded over his coincidence, ending up marrying, and Erwin was adopted."Levi paused for a bit, as if he wasn't quite sure what the original question was anymore.

"We met at college. He was having some problems with academic language, and as an English major and future teacher, I decided to help him."

"What a story. Thanks for telling me."

"You're a weird kid, Jaeger. I'm interested in you and want to have a conversation. Why wouldn't I answer you?"

"I haven't exactly been fair to you, old man."

"My fault for befriending a teen. I should've known better, dealing with you kids all day long..." 

Eren took notice of his word choice. If Levi had said that when they first sat down, he would have complained. Now, it felt like a logical progression of things. He had never felt so comfortable with someone he barely knew, at their first real meeting, no less. When he first met Jean, they had punched each other. That had forged some kind of connection... Just not the right one. It wasn't until Armin came between them and told them to talk like human beings without starting a fight that they had formed an understanding. 

"Is your cup empty?" Levi asked, putting his own down. The sound of his low voice startled Eren, who peered into his cup, gulped the cold remnants down, and nodded. The look he got in return was one of exasperation. He shrugged. Levi should have know better than to buy a teen boy expensive tea. Now that he thought about it, how much would it cost? He hadn't brought much money with him (he never did on school days. You never knew what could happen to it).

"Are you guys done?" Hanji crept up to them and placed her hands on either side of Levi's chair. He turned his head towards her, steely eyes wordlessly telling her to let go and act normal. The brown-haired woman raised her hands. "Stop being such a meaniepants, Levi, or I won't you a discount!"

"You  _never_ give me a discount, fuckface. I'm paying for both of us. This should cover it, right?" He held up a 10 dollar note, waggling it in front of her face. She tried focusing on the number on it, but it seemed he was doing it on purpose to annoy her. She snatched it out of his hand, looked at him, and started searching her pouch. 

"It's free for the cutie there, so here," she said, throwing a bunch of coins on the table. Eren opened his mouth to speak up, but Hanji shushed him immediately, skipping to his chair and patting his head as if he was a scraggly dog. "Aww, don't worry, one free tea doesn't hurt business. I'll even throw in a dessert if you want it!"

"N-no, that's fine. Thanks, though." He smiled up at her. Levi couldn't help but stare when he saw it. Eren's hair was fluffed up by Hanji, some of the brown strands sticking up. Looking up had given Levi full view of his collar bones, protruding clearly through his skin. The T-shirt he was wearing didn't dip nearly low enough, Levi thought. He tried imagining the rest of the boy's body, a fruitless attempt as he had no idea whatsoever where to begin. Was he muscled? Simply skinny? It didn't help that the boy had never heard of tight tops before. If only.

Then there was his face. Tanned skin, large eyes, a petite nose. Lips that he had a tendency to bite, presumably when he wasn't sure what else to do. His smile was a bit awkward -- to be expected when thrown to the wolves, so to speak; Hanji was like a whirlwind, and it was hard to keep standing when she passed by -- but it was open, as well. Eren wasn't acting friendly, he genuinely seemed to like Hanji. 

Levi's plan that day had been to show Eren a different side of himself. He wanted him to get interested, to show them that he wasn't all about physical attraction, and that he was a nice enough person to talk to as well (the idea of him being nice was slightly ridiculous, but all in all, Eren seemed to have formed a positive opinion). He knew he was being manipulative. He had steered away from the subject of love or lust. He hadn't told the full truth about him and Erwin. He knew if he did, Eren would think about Jean and his walls would be up again.

Kirstein wasn't a bad kid, Levi knew. A bit aggressive sometimes. Not really books smart (mostly because KIrstein didn't want to be found even near a book. Levi knew he was smart enough if he paid attention. If only he ever did). He was a doting boyfriend, without being too clingy. He walked Eren to class once in a while, but he spend just as much time hanging around with Bodt. He was jealous of Levi. Maybe Jean knew about Eren's past crush (and on-going attraction, Levi was vain enough to know this was the truth), or maybe he suspected that Levi had an interest in Eren. Either way, he always tried making sure Levi knew that they were together. 

And Levi knew. 

* * *

 

All by all, things had gone fine; Eren had given Levi his number, but had also told him they were going to be friends, and nothing more. He repeated multiple times that Jean was his boyfriend. Levi agreed with the plan. On the other hand, he made it clear that he was attracted to Eren, even though he wouldn't be making any moves. 

Levi stared at his phone and wondered how things had gotten this way. He remembered meeting Eren for the first time when he got back to America. He had no actual interest in the boy (in his eyes, the boy had been a kid while he was on the edge of adulthood). What did interest him was how different Mikasa was. She was no longer the shy kid he had met the first time he lived with them. She was still quiet, but she didn't bother hiding her emotions. If she was discontent, she would waste no time speaking up. She was stronger than he remembered, both physically as psychologically. She didn't whimper. No signs of the bullied girl remained. 

Eren had apparently been the one to get her into martial arts. From that moment, he had started paying attention to the boy. He had seen his temper issues, he had seen him deal over his mother's death. He had seen how much influence the boy had over his sister. And he had seen him grow up. He was a lot more mature than he used to be, in all senses. That personal growth, alongside his looks that had matured, had attracted him. 

Unfortunately, by that time, he had been too late. When Eren was crushing on him, he had been too young. When Eren was old enough to become a potential lover in Levi's eyes, Jean had already snatched him up. 

To top off his bad luck, there was his teaching position. He had hoped to stay far away from Eren's school. Beggars can't be choosers, and fate had decided that he would have a job opportunity precisely there. That moment he had swiped right Eren's picture was a last and almost hopeful moment of "what if". He was already planning to give up. He was a grown man, and while he felt he knew Eren through his sister, through the countless visits Eren made to their house, and through having him as a student, he wasn't planning to bind himself to a teenager who still had college in his future (even if Eren wasn't with Jean by then, he'd have tons of suitors once he got there). He wasn't in love with him, so he knew it would be easier to let him go.

Then came the notification. And Levi's plans to give up his pathetic little crush and find someone his own age were thrown away. The hardships and risks that would come along with his choice weren't things he planned to think about just yet.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Complicated family histories everywhere. I've always seen Erwin as German and nothing will ever convince me otherwise. That's why Eren was struggling with the pronunciation, by the way. And, yes, Eren has German origins as well. I think that'll come up when/if Grisha shows up. He doesn't know German. There was no one to teach him.
> 
> This chapter made me wonder about side pairings, if any. Connie and Sasha are very likely. I want to pair up Hanji with someone. The question is with whom? As for the others... I have to admit that I'm fairly unconventional. I dislike most popular pairings (Armin/Jean, Armin/Erwin, Jean/Marco, Erwin/Levi), so that makes choosing difficult, especially since I know they're popular around here and many would love to have them. The struggle.
> 
> They've become friends (somewhat, somehow), they have each other's number... And Jean has been suspicious of Levi since way before. Surely that'll end well!


End file.
